The miniature people who live in our hair

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These little people converse
Among the strands of your hair
And speak night and day about its properties;
Strengths, limpnesses, waywardness, weakness,
They have no hair on their bodies or heads
But they know everything there is to know about every strand present or long disappeared
Tonight in your dreams you might meet them
They will tell you everything you think you want to know about your scalp
This is their expertise

Seinfeld ’76

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It is 1976. Seinfeld and Elaine and George are at high-school together. It’s a bit like Grease except none of the protagonists is young. They can be made to look young or they can look out of place among their peers.

The villain is Lex Toothsome played by Larry David. He wants to stop Seinfeld the Show, the one billion dollar show, ever being made. So he plays havoc with Jerry and Elaine’s love for each other and messes George about. Toothsome has a time-machine.

Luckily or otherwise, given his clumsiness, Cosmo Kramer is on to Lex Toothsome and his evil machinations.